Thank you, Gran…

Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer;
from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint.
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I,
for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy.

Psalm 61:1-3

No mommy should ever attend her own child’s funeral. Yet, there she was. And not for the first time… My gran has had to say goodbye to two of her three sons; three sons that she raised pretty much single-handedly. She is no stranger to loss and hardship, having gone through more than any woman should have to go through in their lives. But, can she teach you a thing or two about faith.

You see, my uncle was sick for a short, but intense time. In that time, my gran cared for him with a strength that can only come from a mommy hanging on to Jesus. She submitted it all to Christ and took each day and each challenge in her stride. I would message her to find out how she was doing and her response was always to the effect of, “Just keep going as the Lord provides strength”. And that’s how she did it up until the day he passed away. Even then, if you asked her how she was, her response was “Bearing up, Love. A day at a time with the help of the Lord.”

The day of my uncle’s memorial, she practiced what she’d been preaching. We sat as a family in the crematorium paying our respects and saying goodbye. I watched my gran grieve, I watched her heart break, and just when I thought she was going to break, I watched her call out to God.

In her place of absolute despair, she didn’t question God, or blame him or even get angry with him as so many of us would. No, she thanked Him. 

Her every word hit me square in the heart and taught me more than I could ever fathom. 

She taught me what it truly means to submit to God’s sovereignty, to wait on God for strength, to seek God above all circumstance.

She showed me what it means to live out 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always,pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”, not only when things are going well, or when we understand why things happen, but even in times of pain and confusion. 

Over 14 years ago, my Gran bought me a book that changed my life. Through the words of fiction on those pages, Jesus called me into a relationship with Him. I owe so much of my walk with God today, to my gran- a woman who has taught me about Jesus, prayed for me fervently and 2 weeks ago, sat on the benches of a crematorium and taught me the greatest lesson of my life.

Thank you gran for teaching me God’s will for me in Christ Jesus

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When I sent my gran this post to make sure she was OK with me posting it, she sent me a link to the following hymn that is so apt:

Through it all
I’ve had many tears and sorrows
I’ve had questions for tomorrow
There’s been times I didn’t know right from wrong
But in every situation
God gave me blessed consolation
That my trials come to only make me strong

Through it all
Through it all
I’ve learned to trust in Jesus
I’ve learned to trust in God

Through it all
Through it all
I’ve learned to depend upon His Word

I’ve been to lots of places
I’ve seen a lot of faces
There’s been times I felt so all alone
But in my lonely hours
Yes, those precious lonely hours
Jesus lets me know that I was His own

Through it all
Through it all
I’ve learned to trust in Jesus
I’ve learned to trust in God
(Andraé Crouch, 1971)